The past couple of days have gone quite quickly. Jack has been going to work during the day leaving me in the apartment by myself. Well almost by myself. I have met Tammy; It turns out that we get a cleaner come personal shopper. I ask Tammy if this is norm she smiles and tells me that for someone like myself, yes it is. This leaves me with more questions than answers. There is something not quite right with Tammy but I can’t put my finger on it. I try to push it to the back of my mind. I have always been distrusting it is how I survived the homes and living on the street. I have to believe she is OK otherwise she wouldn’t be here.
Tammy helps me pick out some items to put my identity into my now home. It doesn’t take long to have this huge list of what Tammy reassures me are essential items. I start to say about the cost of all of this and she holds up her hands saying I have a budget for this and also a clothes budget which is the next thing that needs to be addressed. As Tammy gives me an amused look, she is my age and understands the comfort factor of jeans and trainers but it will not do to be seen out in public this way. Again Tammy holds up her hands when I try to argue and tells me to take this up with Archie.
I woke this morning to be told by Jack that I have got to the final stage of the metamorphose. It will only be a matter of day’s now and the change will be complete. . He has warned me I will go to sleep and not wake for a couple of days. While I am asleep I will probably have nightmares and they will seem very real but he will be staying with me while I’m asleep hence the need to go and sort out a few things regarding work. After this has happened he will have to step aside for Archie to start my training and Roger will be allowed back in with me during the daylight hours to look over me. I have to say I’m really nervous about trusting someone else to look after me but I have built quite the bond with Jack and especially Roger so I am just going to have to break a habit of a lifetime and trust them to look after me. I can’t wait for the changes to be done with so that I can get back to controlling my life. Although I have a suspicion I am going to have a few conflicts with the guy’s along the way. I know that leaving here will never be an option. I have never felt so safe and at home in my life so I would be a fool to want to leave here. However the independent stubborn girl I am I can’t live off the back of others so I will have to see about getting back into work. I am not fooling myself I know I can’t afford this place but at least I can try to earn my keep.
All is quiet in my apartment I have actually been left alone for about an hour and I am really enjoying the solitude. Even though I am feeling tired I’m curled up on the sofa with a book and some sweets that Tammy bought in this morning. The book Archie has sent over for me to read, it is all about our history over the last few years. I need to know about the politics and rules there are in place if I am going to be in amongst my own kind. Archie said they will allow me a little time to integrate but after a few weeks if I mess up I will have to face the consequences. I know the book is important but I can’t seem to keep my eyes open all I want to do is go to sleep. I reach for my phone as I know Jack has said if I get these feelings to let him know as I am not to be left when the final stage of the metamorphose happens. I’m going to be venerable and I will not be able to defend myself. I try to stretch for the phone but I fall from the sofa into the table and the world starts to spin. I look up to see Tammy stood over me with a smile on her face. I relax and start to push myself up saying how glad I am she is still here and could she pass me my phone. Tammy looks over to the table and picks up my phone drops it to the floor and stamps on it. “I personally don’t see what’s so special about you, but Junta want you and I am going to be paid very well for this” I see Tammy’s foot coming towards my face and I don’t move quickly enough and the world goes black.
Caroline F Levy 